Why it's OK to Fancy Older People

My desktop

As you can see from the screenshot of my laptop desktop above, I am a proud fancier of older men and I feel it is now time to voice my opinions on this wonderful subject. (I'm going to try to relate this to either gender)

Just so you know, I am most definitely NOT a relationship guru. Most of the examples I'll give are from my own limited experience as an 18 year old girl. These are just my ponderings and the advice I'd give to a friend.

Why it's OK to fancy older people:

1. The maturity thing

Because let's be honest, immature people are not attractive. I don't mean the Dougie-from-McFly sort of immaturity - that's more endearing than pretty much ANYTHING in the world. What I mean is someone who is on the verge of a breakdown if they don't get their own way. Someone who gets incredibly needy if you don't communicate with them at least 5 times a day. Someone who still "lols" at the mention of genitalia. We all know that person, and we all know we wouldn't go out with that person. Maturity has to be one of the main reasons a person is attracted to older people. Imagine going on a date, and the person you're sitting with knows that the posh French dish on the menu actually just means breaded chicken. And just imagine being with someone who knows a little bit more about alcohol than the difference between Echo Falls and Gallo. Someone with genuine (but not in your face) self-confidence and self-assurance is attractive. Emotional and intellectual maturity is sexy.

2. Looks are looks

Why hello, Miles.

It shouldn't matter if someone is your age or 10 years older than you, if they make your knees wobbly, then what's the problem. You're in a bar. In your left-side peripheral vision, you spy an 18 year old with acne, badly-cut bangs, trousers halfway down his thighs, laughing at the word "penis" approaching you. To your right, you spy Miles from the Apprentice making a bee-line for you. Should you in some way be obligated to lunge at the 18 year old? Don't lie to yourself, we all know which way you'd turn. If you find someone attractive, and they find you attractive, then why not lunge at them go and introduce yourself!? Which brings me to my third point.

3. Age is just a number

What a lad.

Right, I KNOW that this is the excuse used by many a pervert, but there is some truth in it. However, I still maintain my point that the whole fancying older people malarkey is more about personality (and looks) than age. You might be an incredibly mature 20 year old who gels incredibly with a 30 year old. *hippy American accent* YOU CANNOT DENY THE CHEMISTRY MAAAAAN. I have some proof of this whole idea. I have a friend who is my age (18), and she was recently dating a 29 year old. Everything was going great. She'd cook dinner with him and they'd go out with his friends, and she felt totally at ease. He seemed really nice, then one day.. poof.. she never heard from him again. Nothing. So you tell me - who was the adult in their relationship? It works either way. There could be an incredibly grown-up 18 year old and and a ridiculously young-at-heart 87 year old. (Think Hugh Hefner) Alternatively, there could be a totally childlike 20 year old and a wizened 30 year old. It all just depends on who meshes well. So there's another reason why it's OK to fancy older people - because it just so happens that you connect more with them than your own age group.

4. Self-esteem

Because I couldn't do this post without a picture of him.

NB: I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT YOU SHOULD GO OUT WITH SOMEONE JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER.

All I'm saying is that there must be a kind of confidence boost to be gained from being with an older person. Whether it be "wow I can't believe this person likes me" or "wow look who I've pulled", there's definitely some sort of happy feeling that you're doing something right.

This guy isn't just any run-of-the-mill guy, this is an older, wiser and more confident M&S guy.

Things to think about:

So as well as the glory of bagging/fancying an older person, there are some things I'd consider.

1. Older men v. older women

One thing I really don't understand is why it is a lot more acceptable for an older guy to be dating a younger woman than an older woman to be dating a younger man. Think of the whole idea of the term "cougar" which has now become an insult. And think of the whole Harry Styles and Caroline Flack thing.. the media pounced on it and Flack has been "terrored" for it ever since. And now think of Peter Andre (40) and Emily MacDonagh (23). There's not been much on the subject... or perhaps that's just because it's Peter Andre...

2. Number games

Here are two things which I've heard frequently used:
"The Two Year Rule" - Never go out with someone above or below this age bracket in relation to your own age.

"Men mature three years slower than women" - what it says on the tin.

(I'm not going to bang on much longer so I'll leave you to ponder those.)

3. So you're thinking about dating an older person

The one thing I would beg you to honestly ask yourself:

"Why does he/she want to go out with me?"

If you don't have an answer to that question which you could tell your nan, then scrap the whole thing off.

So there you have it. YES it's OK to fancy older people... in fact, it's completely normal. Probably more normal in fact than being attracted to a dirty 18 year old who is still at the end of this post laughing at the word "penis". Basically, all I'm saying is that it's fine either way. Just remember that with whoever you end up getting wobbly knees over, make sure you're both comfortable and in it for the same, right reasons and you can't go wrong.

That's all for now, folks.