Why it's OK to Fancy Older People

My desktop

As you can see from the screenshot of my laptop desktop above, I am a proud fancier of older men and I feel it is now time to voice my opinions on this wonderful subject. (I'm going to try to relate this to either gender)

Just so you know, I am most definitely NOT a relationship guru. Most of the examples I'll give are from my own limited experience as an 18 year old girl. These are just my ponderings and the advice I'd give to a friend.

Why it's OK to fancy older people:

1. The maturity thing

Because let's be honest, immature people are not attractive. I don't mean the Dougie-from-McFly sort of immaturity - that's more endearing than pretty much ANYTHING in the world. What I mean is someone who is on the verge of a breakdown if they don't get their own way. Someone who gets incredibly needy if you don't communicate with them at least 5 times a day. Someone who still "lols" at the mention of genitalia. We all know that person, and we all know we wouldn't go out with that person. Maturity has to be one of the main reasons a person is attracted to older people. Imagine going on a date, and the person you're sitting with knows that the posh French dish on the menu actually just means breaded chicken. And just imagine being with someone who knows a little bit more about alcohol than the difference between Echo Falls and Gallo. Someone with genuine (but not in your face) self-confidence and self-assurance is attractive. Emotional and intellectual maturity is sexy.

2. Looks are looks

Why hello, Miles.

It shouldn't matter if someone is your age or 10 years older than you, if they make your knees wobbly, then what's the problem. You're in a bar. In your left-side peripheral vision, you spy an 18 year old with acne, badly-cut bangs, trousers halfway down his thighs, laughing at the word "penis" approaching you. To your right, you spy Miles from the Apprentice making a bee-line for you. Should you in some way be obligated to lunge at the 18 year old? Don't lie to yourself, we all know which way you'd turn. If you find someone attractive, and they find you attractive, then why not lunge at them go and introduce yourself!? Which brings me to my third point.

3. Age is just a number

What a lad.

Right, I KNOW that this is the excuse used by many a pervert, but there is some truth in it. However, I still maintain my point that the whole fancying older people malarkey is more about personality (and looks) than age. You might be an incredibly mature 20 year old who gels incredibly with a 30 year old. *hippy American accent* YOU CANNOT DENY THE CHEMISTRY MAAAAAN. I have some proof of this whole idea. I have a friend who is my age (18), and she was recently dating a 29 year old. Everything was going great. She'd cook dinner with him and they'd go out with his friends, and she felt totally at ease. He seemed really nice, then one day.. poof.. she never heard from him again. Nothing. So you tell me - who was the adult in their relationship? It works either way. There could be an incredibly grown-up 18 year old and and a ridiculously young-at-heart 87 year old. (Think Hugh Hefner) Alternatively, there could be a totally childlike 20 year old and a wizened 30 year old. It all just depends on who meshes well. So there's another reason why it's OK to fancy older people - because it just so happens that you connect more with them than your own age group.

4. Self-esteem

Because I couldn't do this post without a picture of him.

NB: I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT YOU SHOULD GO OUT WITH SOMEONE JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER.

All I'm saying is that there must be a kind of confidence boost to be gained from being with an older person. Whether it be "wow I can't believe this person likes me" or "wow look who I've pulled", there's definitely some sort of happy feeling that you're doing something right.

This guy isn't just any run-of-the-mill guy, this is an older, wiser and more confident M&S guy.

Things to think about:

So as well as the glory of bagging/fancying an older person, there are some things I'd consider.

1. Older men v. older women

One thing I really don't understand is why it is a lot more acceptable for an older guy to be dating a younger woman than an older woman to be dating a younger man. Think of the whole idea of the term "cougar" which has now become an insult. And think of the whole Harry Styles and Caroline Flack thing.. the media pounced on it and Flack has been "terrored" for it ever since. And now think of Peter Andre (40) and Emily MacDonagh (23). There's not been much on the subject... or perhaps that's just because it's Peter Andre...

2. Number games

Here are two things which I've heard frequently used:
"The Two Year Rule" - Never go out with someone above or below this age bracket in relation to your own age.

"Men mature three years slower than women" - what it says on the tin.

(I'm not going to bang on much longer so I'll leave you to ponder those.)

3. So you're thinking about dating an older person

The one thing I would beg you to honestly ask yourself:

"Why does he/she want to go out with me?"

If you don't have an answer to that question which you could tell your nan, then scrap the whole thing off.

So there you have it. YES it's OK to fancy older people... in fact, it's completely normal. Probably more normal in fact than being attracted to a dirty 18 year old who is still at the end of this post laughing at the word "penis". Basically, all I'm saying is that it's fine either way. Just remember that with whoever you end up getting wobbly knees over, make sure you're both comfortable and in it for the same, right reasons and you can't go wrong.

That's all for now, folks.

Summer Playlist 2013

Oooooo my first post about music. Since summer is fast-approaching, I thought I'd rustle up a playlist of songs which compliment those summer days spent chilling out, maxing and relaxing all cool.

The reason I haven't added a bunch of top 40 songs to my list is NOT because I don't like top 40. It's just because you'll probably hear so much of that stuff on the radio anyway so there's not much point me putting it on here.

And don't be thinking that I'm some music guru who knows and enjoys all music under the sun. I stumbled across most of these songs during my travels across the tinterverse and thought I'd share the ones with you which I thought were "summery" and which I myself enjoyed listening to.

So here goes! (In no particular order)

Chris Malinchak - So Good To Me

(Simply spine-tingling)

Sion Russell Jones - So Long

Golden Silvers - Magic Touch

Tuxedo - Do It

Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True

(Oldie but a classic)

Gabrielle Aplin - Panic Cord

Kishi Bashi - Bright Whites

(give this one a minute)

Haim - Falling

Gorillaz - Up On Melancholy Hill

Foals - My Number

Frank Turner - The Way I Tend To Be

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime

(because you can't not have it)

Yes, I realise it's a bit random, but then so is life.

Enjoy!

That's all for now, folks.

Scaredy Cat

This post should really be called "Change" but I liked this photo too much.

So with two weeks left of life as I know it, I thought I'd get the obligatory nostalgic post out of the way.

I can't remember the last day I didn't get a knot in my stomach thinking about how soon everything I know will be over.

OK, maybe I'm being a little over-the-top but the title did grab your attention didn't it? Yes, I know it did.

Anyhow, the thought of University and beyond TERRIFIES me.

Never again will I put on a slightly-too-large uniform and rush into school to see all my friends in their slightly-too-large uniforms and complain about our slightly-too-large uniforms. I won't ever have another 9am-4pm day where I come home and count down the days to the next 18th birthday. I won't watch Glee on a Sunday evening with my mum. I won't be at school any more. I won't even be in the same half of the country any more.

After rereading the previous paragraph, I admit it doesn't seem terrifying at all. And perhaps I'm just a nostalgic and melodramatic person but I really don't like change.

Why don't people like change? Is it the worry that these are your glory days and it's never going to be as good as this ever again?

Is it because change always comes at the end of something else? So it's not the change, it's the END before the change that we hate the idea of?

Or is it the idea of having to start something new?  Perhaps we don't mind the end of something. Perhaps it's the making new friends/creating a new self-image/"the first day" syndrome that's the hard part.

Ah so many questions. And no answers. Just horrible stomach-knotting feelings.

Most of my friends can't wait to get to University... does this mean that they are less bothered about change?
It's not as if they liked school any less than me. In fact, some of the troopers have been at my school since nappies which is at least double the time I've been there.

So maybe it's not that they feel any less terrified than me.. maybe they're just less vocal about it.

So why do some people deal with change a lot better than others?

I'm sure my friends will all be having a competition on the last day of school to see who can make me cry over the most trivial thing. But why do I respond to change in a more negative way than other people? But maybe that's the point. Maybe I don't.

Maybe that's the hard thing about change: we all live individual lives, so we all have individual memories and experiences about the thing that's coming to an end, so we all feel alone and suffer slightly different stomach-knotting feelings to everyone else because we're in our own individual sad and nostalgic bubbles.

Oh look, a sad and nostalgic bubble.

Wow, it turns out writing about this is quite therapeutic.

OK, you've suffered through my selfish thoughts long enough. I promise the next post will not be so self-indulgent or bleak.

I've just counted, and I used the word maybe: (not including this time) 6 times; and the word perhaps: 3 times.

So obviously I don't actually have a clue about any of this. If you,  YES YOU, have ANY ANSWERS then PLEASE don't hesitate to contribute.

Oh dear, this whole post had been pretty useless. It's just the ramblings of a sad and nostalgic person with a knotted stomach living their life in their own sad and nostalgic bubble.

That's all for now, folks.

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Voila - my take on Iron Man 3 since I have literally just got in from seeing it.


IMDB.com summary:

When Tony Stark's world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution.


It has been a while since I've seen the other two Iron Man films but I can safely say that it is better than the second, and dare I say the first too.

Directed and co-scripted by Shane Black, you can see how it was written by the same man who wrote Lethal Weapon with its bizarre interjections and EXTREMELY tongue-in-cheek tone. The tone is what makes Iron Man 3. I don't want to give anything away but there are times when the film almost becomes a pastiche of the superhero film, and it works tremendously well. Little moments which occur in pretty much every film of this kind are openly recognised, flaunted and inverted in some way to great comic effect.

Robert Downey Jr has developed the role of Tony Stark as a continuation from the second film. We see him suffer from anxiety attacks which he tries to brush off in a very human way. Again, I don't want to spoil it but his moments with young Harley Keener (Ty Simpkins) are brilliant. As usual, RDJ is a very charismatic protagonist. (Attractive as ever, by the way, especially the hip gyration he treats us to near the start)

Ben Kingsley Ben Kingsley Ben Kingsley Ben Kingsley. Just brilliant. (Can't think of anything else to say which wouldn't be a mahoosive spoiler sorry)

Guy Pearce makes a very believable and hypnotic bad guy in the form of Aldrich Killian, although I don't understand why he doesn't wear socks...

Gwyneth Paltrow returns to the role of Pepper Potts and it's nice to see a development in her relationship with Tony Stark. I'm not really the biggest fan of Paltrow but I suppose she did what she had to do with her own limited character exploration she was given.

I would say that the film is a lot more plot driven than some MacGuffin-based films. There are some nice twists that you really don't see coming but I would say that overall, it's perhaps slightly too long. I can forgive that because of the overall fresh air it breathes into the genre.

Watch out for the Liverpool FC cameo - a moment of true glory.

I don't think you could go and see this film without enjoying it. 2 hours and 15 minutes of mostly effortless fun with stunning special effects and a suitably grand accompanying soundtrack.
Just go see it.

That's all for now, folks.

WAIT I NEARLY FORGOT - If you are happy to sit through 8 minutes of credits at the end of the film, there is a brilliant little post-credits scene with a special cameo...

Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)

So I thought I'd get things started with a little something on one of my favourite films.

Me and You and Everyone We Know is written and directed by Miranda July.

It's probably not a film that everyone will enjoy but I think it's a film that everyone should see.

There are so many levels at work that you're bound to pick up on something or connect to someone.

Here is the summary from IMDB.com

"A lonely shoe salesman and an eccentric performance artist struggle to connect in this unique take on contemporary life."

OK, Perhaps that doesn't sell it but I can promise you that the film has a lot more to it.

Take Robby Swersey for example - the younger son of the aforementioned "lonely shoe salesman" called Richard. He is the innocence we crave. He spends his time in online chatrooms and "talks dirty" in the most funny and moving way. When asked "are you touching yourself?", he looks down at his fingertips which are touching on the edge of the desk... so he replies "Yes." I challenge you not to fall in love with Robby Swersey. And the final conclusion of that story arch is beautiful, so I won't give anything away.

"Back and forth... forever."
Robby's dirty talk. You'll have to watch the film.

Then there's Robby's older brother, Peter. He resents his father like only a teenager can, so his father tries to capture his son's attention by setting his own hand alight. Peter strikes up a slightly bizarre and unlikely friendship with a younger girl called Sylvie, which also has a moving ending.

The love story between Richard and the performance artist called Christine (Miranda July) is incredible. This was the first film in A LONG TIME where I haven't cringed or closed my eyes through a relationship portrayed in a film. So little is said but it's so effortless.

And there are two teenage girls across the road who seem desperate to grow up but who are not yet ready to do so.

Keep an eye out for the scene where Richard and Christine walk down the street talking about stages in a relationship and how their unsaid conversation mirrors the dialogue. This probably doesn't make any sense but just go watch it.

For many people, I can imagine that this film will seem like a piece of indie crap. But if you accept that what you're watching is low-budget, quirky and has slightly dodgy music, I can promise you that whether or not you enjoy it, you'll come out at the end knowing you've watched something thought-provoking.. even if you don't have a clue what thoughts have been provoked.

This has been my first ever film review thingy, so bear with whilst I'm getting used to it all.

I hope I've inspired you or at least convinced you to give this film a go!

That's all for now, folks.

North from Northwest

After having a haircut this afternoon, I decided that this was a good day to start a blog.

No particular reason.

Don't worry, I'm not going to be one of those people who is pretentiously unpretentious - you know, who ever-so-casually mentions their interest in Siberian Independent film and the post-apocalyptic haiku.

I will probably just write about things that interest me.. things that interest 99.9% of the population.. things like film, music and books. I might also write about any ponderings that a ponderer might have. I like to think that with a Liverpool postcode comes scouse wit so perhaps I will try and incorporate that.

"Why are you starting a blog" I don't hear you ask.

Well, I think I'm suffering from a pre-life crisis. I turned 18 (happy birthday to me) recently and I started to think:

"By the time Babe Ruth was 19 he was playing for the Boston Red Sox; Mark Zuckerberg had commercialised Facebook; Bill Gates had co-founded Microsoft; Mary Shelley had written "Frankenstien".

Inevitably, this made me a bit depressed.

So I've started a blog.. probably to "compensate" for my lack of achievement.

The name of this post is "North from Northwest". As a potential English undergraduate, I shall proceed to do a close reading of this title.

Northwest - I live and come from the North West of England.

North - NOT LITERAL. I don't know where I'm going, but I hope I'm going "up".

"North from Northwest" - a naff homage to Hitchcock. (I like film, I like puns, I like Hitchcock.)

So at the start of my "proper" life now that I'm 18, I'd like you to accompany me for however long my whim lasts.

NB: If I ever post something that makes me sound pretentious, I can pretty much promise you that I stumbled a cross it on the tinterweb. And maybe you will stumble across my stumblings on this blog. And maybe.. just maybe.. you'll enjoy them too.

That's all for now, folks.