Toaster Problems

Sorry for lack of posting recently. I finished my exams a week ago and thought I would have more time to write but I was a very busy bee...

... until my toaster broke.

Anyone that knows me will understand what a massive catastrophe this was.

A couple of days ago my friends and I went out on the raz / lash / pull / graft etc. (i.e. we frequented Liverpool after dark) and there's nothing that I like better after a late night than some golden brown buttery goodness the next morning. So this is what I had.

After deciding that three pieces of toast was not nearly enough, I got out some more bread. (Granary for the win) I placed my plate carefully on the surface nearest to the toaster to reduce the wafting and therefore cooling of the toast. I readied my knife in the butter next to my plate in order to optimise melt capacity. I was all set. I got out the bread and slotted it into my beautiful four-slotted beast. I set the dial to 2/7 because burnt toast is for losers and people who don't understand the beauty of the world. I did one last check of my preparations and pushed the lever down...

... all the electricity in my house switched off.

No joke.

The trip switch had done its irritating job of ensuring everyone's safety because the fuse in my toaster had blown. My dad went to reset the trip switch and everything returned to relative normality.

I think this was when I began the experiencing The Five Stages of Grief because I was completely in denial of the fact that my beautiful appliance had broken. I pushed down the lever on the toaster again and...

... all the electricity in my house switched off... again.

By this point, my dad, brother and friend were understandably getting annoyed at me as dad lumbered off to do the trip switch again.

My friend remembered we could do toast on the grill in the oven but this is when the second stage of grief kicked in - anger. I was FUMING (angry) that I would have to subject my bread to the ugly burn lines of the oven grill and I became even more worked up when I realised I wouldn't be able to get my bagels to remain soft on the outside but toasted on the inside if I used my oven. Nope, I was not happy.

Then boom. Next came bargaining. I went back over to the toaster and used the extent of my scientific knowledge to unplug it and plug it again. I even fiddled with the wire at the back. It couldn't be broken, not after all the good times and the bad times I'd shared with it. Maybe we could swap the wires with the microwave. Surely something could save it. But alas, no.

This is when waves of depression washed over me like the Mersey on a stormy day. What was I going to do without my beloved and trusted appliance? What would we do with the breadcrumbs it had meticulously been collecting in the tray at the bottom for years? I couldn't imagine finding another toaster like it. This was the end of an era... a warm, toasted, buttery era.

It was only yesterday morning that I finally gained acceptance of what had happened. Mum and dad, realising that I couldn't cope for long in this limbo state with no proper toast, rushed out to Costco and I woke up to find a new chrome machine placed precisely where my old friend had been. It was a gut-wrenching moment but it was inevitable.

I know one day I'll look back at all the fond memories I've shared with my old toaster, but at the moment it's still too raw... like my bread. I haven't been able to bring myself to use the new toaster yet even though I understand this day will come soon.

But until that day,

RIP my old faithful toaster, you've served me well. I hope you're having fun in that great kitchen in the sky.

Keep toasting.

x

That's all for now, folks.

Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

IMDB.com summary:

Hobbs has Dom and Brian reassemble their crew in order to take down a mastermind who commands an organization of mercenary drivers across 12 countries. Payment? Full pardons for them all.

Now let's be honest, plot really isn't the be all and end all in a Fast & Furious film. In fact, it's not really important at all. Any resemblance to narrative merely serves as an underfed milkmaid who is obliged to milk the bursting udder of the cow of bombast for all it's worth but who gets none of the rewards. (I don't know why I'm using a cow metaphor, I'm sorry about that.) So yes, just ignore that metaphor... and the whole plot.

The same can be said for the script. One perfect example goes something like this:
Person 1: "Be careful!" *dramatic pause* Person 2: "This is who we are."
Phwoar.
The dialogue is only really there because something has to fill the gaps between the action scenes. Usually this filler takes the form of a romantic scene.... again, it is perfectly acceptable to ignore these and I have to say that they do drag the film out time-wise more than is necessary.

Having already seen the rest of the franchise, I still couldn't remember the names of any most of the gang. Any characterisation is irrelevant although there is some enjoyable banter between Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson.

Now let's get onto the crucial stuff. Cars. More cars. Cars racing. Sweat. And enough baby oil to ensure that The Rock is suitably saturated for the duration of the film. Beautiful and ostentatious escapism at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. There is also the added bonus of seeing the gang racing through a different city - this time it's London and the spectacle is incredible. As ever, there is the obligatory underground racing scene... (because of course every major city in the world has one, right?) In true Fast & Furious fashion, these scenes are visually stunning, and make it worth the money. The film never fails to try something even more unbelievable than the previous action sequence. I'd love to contemplate a particular favourite part of mine but all I'll say is that the whole cast from now on must only be known as The Flying Squirrels.

So in summary: don't watch it with the expectation of being intellectually challenged.

Watch it with the expectation of getting more than your money's worth for a film with the title "Fast & Furious 6".

That's all for now, folks.

The Habitual Tea Drinkers Society

There still exists a stereotype of Britain in this day an age of people sitting down for "elevenses" or afternoon tea in top hats. I recently visited America and the amount of times a person thought it was amusing or just plain fantastic for us to be ordering a brew was phenomenal.

They probably also think we own tiny dogs called Tilly and Milly who we keep at our country home when in actual fact, this is what most of us see everyday.

2013 Tea Party

But then I got to thinking, what's wrong with this stereotype of Britain? Maybe we should embrace it! I used to hate tea, until I envied my mum and Granny for being able to sit down with a pot which is when I began to force myself to drink it...and now I love it! I'd never really considered myself as a "proper" tea-drinker until I contemplated my own daily tea-drinking schedule. After compiling the list, I feel a bit stupid...

Here is my daily tea schedule (open to change):

My Tea schedule

Morning:

Standard morning - Green Tea

In-need-of-a-pick-me-up morning - Apple and Cinnamon Tea

Lazy morning - Blackcurrant

Ill morning - Lemon and Ginger Tea

Elevenses:

Out-and-about elevenses - English Breakfast Tea (the run of the mill tea)

Already-tired elevenses - Another Green Tea

Lazy elevenses - Orange Tea

Still-throwing-up elevenses - Camomile Tea

Post-lunch:

Standard post-lunch - Red Bush Tea

Knackered-and-it's-only-just-been-lunch - Yet another Green Tea

Lazy post-lunch - Blackcurrant Tea

My-whole-body-is-now-on-fire - White Tea

Afternoon / returning home:

Standard afternoon - Red Bush Tea

I-still-have-work-to-do-at-home-this-evening- Apple and Cinnamon Tea

Celebratory-tea-for-my-lazy-day - Fruit Punch Tea

Urgh-I-want-to-curl-up-into-a-ball-and-watch-Pride-and-Prejudice-this-evening - Hot water with lemon

Settling down in front of post-watershed TV:

Standard evening tea - Camomile

Going-to-pull-an-all-nighter - Green Tea

Lazy evening tea - White Tea

If you're still trying to force down drinks after being ill all day.. stop. Just go to bed.

NB: If someone is offering to "fix a brew" for me, I find that it is common courtesy to accept/ask for a normal tea.. unless they SPECIFICALLY offer you something else.

Voila. So there is my average tea schedule. Just so you know, I'm neither massively rich nor have a tea compulsion, it's just that people often give me tea for my birthday and Christmas so I have compiled in my cupboard what I like to call the "Now" Album of all the best teas. (Excluding Earl Grey... I hate Earl Grey.)

So it's clear that I love tea. But I think that it's not the consumption of tea itself which has made the drink so iconic. It's the fact that everyone can bond over a cuppa - the event of drinking tea. It's the metaphorical bunting and Battenberg that accompanied the tea. You could offer your posh old Aunt a brew, or your builder, or your mum. And each time you do, there's a tiny invisible thread of tea leaves that connects you to another person, another tea drinker. And let's not forget the magical healing elements of tea. If someone is wins the lottery/loses a leg... it's only a matter of time before someone goes to put the kettle on. Drinking tea is a social event - whether it be celebratory or consolatory. And let's be honest, a mug is possibly THE easiest present in the world to buy someone.

So... what's your view of the whole tea thing? All hype or can't live without it? Favourite kind? (If you say Earl Grey I will hunt you down and make you eat all of the Earl Grey tea bags in your home.)

That's all for now, folks.

Why I Love A Cappella

A cappella - from an Italian phrase meaning "in a Church style" because historically in Church, music was provided by either an unaccompanied chant or choir.

And thus the style of music without instruments was born, and vocal chords became the instrument of choice.

Being in an a cappella group myself hasn't made me any more knowledgeable or any more qualified to talk about it, but it has inspired my love of a cappella so I would like to share that.

A cappella is not a modern term, nor does it only cover the unaccompanied pop we associate it with today although there does seem to be a revival of a cappella music in the past few years (think Pitch Perfect and Pentatonix).

And now I think it would be a good time to tell you why I believe a cappella music is the BUSINESS:

1. Breadth

So so so so so so so much stuff can be defined as a cappella, and that's what I love about it: it's not a genre of music - it's a style.

For example, this can be classified as a cappella music:

(Swingle Singers performing an a cappella version of Ave Verum Corpus by Mozart )


But this can also be classified as a cappella:

Both are incredible, and both are a cappella!

2. Technical skill

Don't get me wrong, I am in NO WAY saying that singing a cappella is more technically challenging than playing an instrument. I just think there's something especially commendable with singing 10 part harmony (for example) perfectly in tune, without going flat or sharp, and without the aid of pre-tuned instruments. And when you consider that a lot of a cappella songs nowadays are covers of regular songs, that means people are basically singing a guitar part anyway! Pretty darn cool eh? 

And again, I don't want to offend anyone but this post is about a cappella music in its true form - not those covers on youtube in which one person records and layers their voice for every instrument. There is definitely a LOT of skill involved in that process, but I just believe it's a different kind of skill to my idea of a cappella singing which is a bunch of people performing on-the-spot with no chance of re-recording or auto-tuning.

3. It's so fun

When else can you get away with singing incoherent noises that sound a lot like the "maaaooaaam" or "eeeeeeyooooore" to replicate guitar riffs or sound effects in songs? WITH THE ADDED BONUS THAT IT SOUNDS AMAZING.

(NB: For a simple beat box rhythm, repeat the phrase "boots and cats and boots and cats and..." over and over again without saying the vowel sounds)

Plus, no need to find an extension cable or wall socket or instruments or a tech guy or a room or electricity or space... you can just go and sing!

So

From the choral masterpieces of Thomas Tallis (check out If Ye Love Me), to Barbershop quartets, to modern pop covers, you're sure to find something you love. And I would definitely urge you to to find something! Or sing something... all it takes is one person!

Here are a few of my favourites to inspire you:

Pentatonix

Straight No Chaser

Swingle Singers

I might have accidentally on purpose dropped into the conversation that I'm in an a cappella group. We are an amateur Liverpool-based 5 part a cappella group called F#TM and we sing for fun. Sorry, I couldn't do this post without a tiny bit of self-promotion.

Here is a video of us performing:

Here is our channel:

F#TM Channel

And here is our Facebook page:

F#TM Facebook Page

Hope you enjoy it!

That's all for now, folks.